Worst. Summer. Ever.
Life in the heart of Sweaty Season
(current photo of my backyard)
The thing I like best about living in Western PA is the change of seasons. Just when you think you can’t handle any more cold and snow, April arrives, and with it, hope for warmer, sunnier times. Spring really hits the ground running in May, as pleasant temperatures and sunshine bring color back into the world.
Except for this year, that is. This year, we went straight from winter into Sweaty Season.
The minute May arrived, suddenly Western PA became South Florida in August. If it’s not 95 degrees and swampy, it’s 85 degrees and rainy. Taking a shower is an exercise in futility. The minute you’re clean and dry, you can instantly feel the sweat beads running down your back (amongst other places).
And not only does it feel like we’re living in a jungle, but outside it looks like a jungle too. If I’m not constantly weeding the gardens, I’m walking behind my lawnmower. One week in June, I mowed the lawn on Tuesday and then again on Thursday. You can almost hear the grass growing.
Seriously, I’m sweating right now, even though I’m sitting at my desk in my air-conditioned home. It’s literally hell on Earth.
What happened to spring? I thought we had a deal with Nature. We’re supposed to suffer through the long, cold winter, and then she’s supposed to reward us by gradually increasing the temperature so we can become acclimated to it. This year, she treated us like a frozen dinner that she pulled out of the freezer and threw straight into a 400-degree oven. While still inside the cardboard box.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. If it were winter, you’d be complaining about the cold. Possibly. But then again, it’s not winter. Oh, how I wish it were winter! Glorious, sweat-free winter! At least in winter, you can control your bodily temperature. You can put on a coat. You can throw on another layer or two. But now that we live in the tropics, you either have to be lucky enough to have a pool to soak in, or you have to sit completely motionless in an air-conditioned space. Even then, eventually you have to get out of the pool or move a muscle. And then you’re right smack back in Houston.
Looking at the long-term forecast, it doesn’t seem like we good folks in Western PA are going to have a reprieve any time soon. So, I guess I’ll just have to deal with the heat and humidity until October—cool, dry, lovely October!—comes to rescue us from this blast furnace of a region we call home.
If anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be in the shower. Again. Not that it’ll make any difference. ~
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Valentine J. Brkich is the author of:
My advice is to accept that climate change is real.
I’m 100% with you Val Joseph!! I have literally had to change clothes 4-5 x’s in a day prior to taking a shower at the end of the day! It’s miserable working outside with soaking wet cloths! Oh and trying to get off wet clothes while you’re still dripping sweat from your chin!!! It’s like trying to remove Suran Wrap! I’ve actually panicked because I couldn’t remove my arm from the sleeve and get my shirt off over my head!! I agree can’t wait till cooler less humid weather comes, just wish it during this summer, not ready for the next seasons yet!! Good thing this isn’t paper, my words would have run together by now!!